Hai, assalamualaikum! 大家好! 

我是 Aiza. And 欢迎来到 my blog. 

So... I have decided to go back to blogging. 

Scrolling thru my drafts, I realized it has been years since the last time I blogged. My last post on this blog was back in 2012. I was still in high school. And then I tried starting a new blog. Which was a fail. 

Everything after my last post on this blog, they were just random posts. Luahan hati bila my relationship got a little hard. I no longer update my blog on the regular as I did back when I started. 

现在, I've even graduated from the university. A whole lifetime had passed & now I'm back. I'm gonna start blogging on the daily basis again. Just like I used to do. 

Well, back then, I could only blog whenever I have the laptop with me. Dulu laptop kena share with the whole family. Every chance I get, I would write an update. Or make up short stories.

Sometimes, I even asked dedi for the laptop just so I can blog. Hahahah! 

现在, we each have our own laptops. Bukan laptop je, segala macam mak nenek gajet pun ada. So what's my excuse to not blog on a daily basis, right? Ada... Alasan nye malas je. Hahahaha! 

Anyway, I was thinking about why I stopped blogging. Dulu semangat betul tulis blog. Every tiny little detail of I go thru in my daily life, semua aku update. Bangun kul berapa, makan apa, rehat watpe, homework apa, gocoh ngan siapa. EVERY. TINY. LITTLE. THING. 

Aku update macam ada orang kesah. Hahahahah! Tapi makin lama makin kurang update, makin malas post. And eventually, stop terus. 

When I said the last time I blogged was in 2012, I meant properly. Properly blogging. Typing out every details of my daily life. I tried again a few times before. But each new blog was abandoned. So, why did I stop? And why was it so hard to come back to blogging? 

I pondered upon these questions for a few days... 

And here's the reason I've figured out! 

Why I stopped?

1. I started caring too much about followers & readers. Aku rasa cam takde orang nak baca blog aku. Dengan ada nye blog yang properly planned & written out, siap ada theme of topics bagai, aku jadi insecure & rasa blog aku tak menarik. No one would be interested. 

2. Aku rasa blog is no longer relevant. When I first started, blogging was IT. Almost everyone had a blog. Sekarang... Banyak socmed ada boleh merempan. Tak perlu baca blog dah. 

3. I got lazy of course. With the increase in workload & stresses, aku jadi malas nak menaip, nak fikir what to blog about. Ada masa free je, tidur. Also, bila ada boyfriend, I don't stay in my head. 

4. My blog was a cringe-fest. Aku baca balik post2 lama, aku cringe sendiri, segan sendiri. Like... Apa benda ko ni pun nak citerrr? Hahahaha! Maklumlah, dulu semua benda story kat blog. Crush ngan siapa, dating ngan siapa, ponteng sekolah ke tak, gaduh ngan siapa... Dengan tulisan rempit nye. Aduhhh. 

5. And the reason why I failed to start again... I was trying too hard to follow in everyone else's footsteps. Aku tengok orang blog pasal fashion, make up, blog2 yang ada spesifik theme camtu, aku nak wat jugak. But those kind of things have never been my passion. 

Reflecting upon these reasons... I've discovered my true passion. I'm going back to my roots. Blogging sebab writing is my form of expression. I get my thoughts out better thru writing. Kadang-kadang bila bercakap, apa yang dalam kepala otak aku tak habis keluar, tak sampai. Nak melukis, tak reti. 

So writing it is. 

Lagipun sekarang single, aku spend banyak masa in my head. Berangan, reflecting upon my day, planning my future. Takde geng nak ajak gaduh bila bosan. Hahahah! Ada bofen je terus lupa diri. Sebok fikir hal bofen, tak fikir diri sendiri dah. 

What I plan to do with this blog? 

Daily updates of course! Aku watpe, makan apa, bangun kul berapa. Just the way I did it 13 years ago. Now that I'm an adult, kita upgrade sikit lah. Takkan nak sama cam budak 12 tahun nye blog kan? Instead of bodo bodo je update aktiviti harian, I will also include some lessons or reflections of the day. Because I found out that I actually have a talent in finding inspiration in even the tiniest little things. 

Kinda like a journal. But a less private one. Hahahah! 

And also, random sharing of tips & tricks every now & then. I haven't truly figure things out yet. So bear with me please! 

Well, this is a lot longer than I had planned. Ingat nak wat intro pendek je. But once I started typing, naik sheikh lak. Kenapa la dulu aku stop kan? Padahal seronok bila dapat menulis ni. Huhuhu. 

Anyway, I hope that you'll find inspirations & motivations thru the things I share here. And I hope I can make your life a little better thru my writings. 

晚安, until tomorrow, 
Mini home office.
Jan 21, 00:21. 


P/S: I lied. The last time I blogged properly was in 2013. On a different blog. Still a cringe-fest. 


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